Separated--Does Not Admit to OW

[saffie]

This whole thing IS a roller coaster and you have to let your body go with it to some extent.

Remember when he talks to the C he is trying to justify his actions and behaviour. He has a battle going on inside him.

It sounds like the interactions you were having with him were very positive. Keep that up. He wants to be loved and feel comfortable. It is not uncommon for men to feel unloved when we raise our families. They go to work and get respect and attention from people who have the time to give it to them. We lose touch with our spouses and can forget why we even fell in love with them. It takes time to remember.

I know that as CEO my H had his ego rubbed all the time by his staff, whereas he used to walk in the door at home at dinner time when everything was stressful and the kids were tired and demanding etc., and in hindsight I can see how things went awry. it was never my intention to forget to show him how much he meant to me....i just didn't have the energy - and didn't realise how he felt.....last on my list of priorities. I just assumed he was a grown man and could cope, but of course, before the children, I was there all the time to entertain him etc. and he had my full attention. We could drop things in a minute and go out for dinner or a movie - every trip out didn't seem like a major operation.

He has had two years with the attention of this OW. It is obvious he is struggling with his morals etc and also I think you are reminding him of all that he may have to give up. Wrapped up with you is so much else of his family life, past and future. You have more going for you than perhaps you realise.

It seems your softly softly approach is working, so go with it and vent here when you feel like screaming.

I know I haven't posted in a while but I have been thinking of you. I go in for surgery on Tuesday next week so I am not sure when I will next get to post.