Over the Shock and GALing 6

[sandi2]

Sandi
Originally Posted By: sandi2
I think that most LBH's just don't realize how long it takes a WAW to come out of her fog, come to terms with the A, grieve over OM, face her sins, try to forgive herself and then get the energy to work on a R she thought was doom and she had emotionally D. Very good. I never even considered this. Must be quite applicable toa WAW without OM, too.

Thanks Garner. I try hard not to ever show that I support the WAW when there is the idea of her wanting to prowl or if there is an OP. However, I know a little of what she goes through when coming back from an EA experience (haven't experienced PA personally).

My H was not one to ask questions about my feelings toward OM, etc., but he kept saying that he needed to know that I was willing to throw 100% into working on our M. The problem I had at that moment was I had thrown myself into my M 100% all those years before and I was exhausted and had mentally & emotionally given up and was why I was vulnerable to the EA when it happened. I was still exhausted and trying so hard to deal with not continuing my EA....not contacting OM, etc. So, all I could give my H at that time....was to tell him that I was willing....to be willing. That was as much as I could do right then. He wanted to see me completely turned back into the old Sandi overnight....and it couldn't happen that quickly. He told me he wanted his old W back, and I told him I wanted that too but that she just wasn't there right then but I would try hard to find her again. It was so slow in coming and sometimes I don't know if I am completely the old Sandi or not or if I ever will be....but I think I'm as close as I can be for right now.

As I have said....I had a lot of health issues to deal with and that kept me from being like my old self....and I probably won't be able to do the activities I once did, but the R is healthy now.

BTW, last year, my health was so down that I was not able to put up a Christmas tree or do anything for my family. We had our get together at my Mothers and I was so sick I had to force myself to even be there. But this year, I have decorated my house and they are planning to be here. So....my health is doing better more days now, and I am very thankful about that. Baby steps.....baby steps......