The girl I originally heard it from is an ex girlfriend that I don't even know. She was dating a police officer that I don't know either. So I have no way to contact her.
As for my friends H. He told her that in confidence. He is a good man, he wouldn't lie to his wife for some fellow officer. My H and him are friends but not that close. And she did not let on that she was investigating for me. She told him that she "heard" that my H was with this OW. So he had no reason to lie or cover up in front of her.
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
He played hockey the last two nights, wants to go watch hockey tomorrow, and then plays two more nights of hockey,
BIG RED FLAG...
This is where I would investigate deeper. 5 nights of hockey in a row??? Are you really buying into that?
You have mentioned that you don't think there is anything going on with the woman at work. I don't think that concludes that he isn't having an affair with someone else.
I would encourage you to find out what is going on with this "hockey" obsession. What kind of evidence do you have that he is actually playing when he says he is? This has signs all over it that something else is going on other than hockey. He knows you will buy the excuse.
This is now the third person I've talked to that has said no way. So I'm starting to believe it was a big mix up.
dont let your guard down.
when 2 married people have a long term affair there are periods of high intense passion and periods of lull. lulls occur during the holidays when you need to have your mind on family orientated activities, when one or the others spouse starts acting suspicious, after a rubber breaks, that period right when school is starting up and the pattern of activities is changing, sometimes when it starts getting too passionate or one acts needy because getting caught and being together wasnt in the game plan.
keep your guard up. your description of your husbands behavior is extremely suspicious.
The reason I suggest Brit create a boundary about the obsessive use of the BB was to curb her annoyance. Clearly Brit's H is doing *something* he should not be doing. Why should she have to sit by and watch it and be uncomfortable? Let him have the discomfort, not her.
I do agree that his actions are very fishy. I had a boyfriend that played hockey once a week. This man was an athlete and participated in many sports and was in excellent shape. The day after his game he could hardly move. Hockey is a rough sport unless he plays in a league that does not allow checking.
K, I know to you guys the whole hockey thing sounds crazy. But it is legit.
I will explain. My husband was a big hockey player when I met him, played in a professional league and went over to Germany to play and nothing came out of it. So he moved home and became a police man. Since then he takes every opportunity to play that he can. It used to be his life and he had to give it up.
Wed night his brother called the house saying their goalie backed out and they needed H. I know this because I talked to him on the phone. We went swimming that evening at the all in one pool/rink center we have and H took his equipment right to the dressing room before we jumped in the pool. I saw it with my own two eyes.
Last night H played with his regular rec team. H is the goalie so its not to physical for him. He "aired" out his hockey equipment in the basement before he went and I checked his team's schedule and they did play.
H also plays in a league for an out of town team where he is paid. Paid big money. He goes there on weekends to play. You've probably heard me mention how is wanted to play this weekend to make money for Christmas presents, well he is going to play there this weekend. I checked that schedule too. Its all legit. The guys just loves hockey.
There is a professional league team in our city. The league that H used to play for and he has tickets for tonights game. His father has season tickets so they always go together and take S3. So that's where he is going tonight.
Make sense?
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
P.S. I did something that felt really horrible. I found H's old cell phone in the spare room the one he's had for the last few months. He just bought a new one a few days ago. I checked the memory and no weird or out of the ordinary outgoing calls, or incoming calls. The texts were erased but H has erased his texts since I met him five years ago. Its not unusual. He always erases them as he receives or sends them.
I also checked the contact list. The only one that stood out was the girl from the hockey banquet that he sat at the same table as all night. He was beaking her again the other day. Somehow her name came up and he made fun of her. He really dislikes her. Not sure why he has her number. But the girl he was supposedly seeing was not in there.
The guy never ever leaves his phone unattended. It is attached to his hip so I don't think he would purposely not put her name in there.
He has been out of the house, I would never get my hands on his cell to find out. But its good new anyways.
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
I understand the hockey thing, as I have two boys that play club soccer, and it is all-consuming, and will only get worse!!! We are slaves to their sport (and one's a gk!).
HOWEVER, how involved are you in his hockey passion? It's one thing to KNOW the schedules and SEE the routine, but, it probably wouldn't hurt to pop in on some games unannounced, right?
The BB has to be an annoyance. I have to tell you, since I use one, as well. It can become a stupid addiction. Why sit idle when you can see the latest headlines? What's that sports score? What time do the Bucs play? Oh, I'll answer those few emails. I have to be very conscious of it, because I know how annoying it is to talk to, be with, etc... someone whose damn head is always looking down at a screen and/or looking up "blank" and not having any idea what you just said to them. AND, I AM NOT CHEATING ON MY HUSBAND. HOWEVER, it could be a VERY good cover for communications w/someone, BECAUSE of the excuse of looking at so much more.
Ok, done.
Good Luck!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Yes, I knew every single contact in there. Like I said her name was the only one out of the ordinary. She is a police officer as well in a town about an hour and a half from here.
He know her because she is originally from here. She graduated from the same high school he did.
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
