Well, thats a little ways away. I think that since you are detaching and going dark, you should plan to not go. But dont tell him that- stay dark about it all. I think that the trip would be a disaster if you were to go with things the way that they are right now. The last thing that we want is for him to reject you, right? Dont ever put them in a place where they can lie to you, or reject you. This is more about protecting you and your heart than anything else.
You already have the ticket, right? So, if things change you can still go.
In the mean time, detach, stop worrying about what hes doing, who hes doing it with, if he misses you, all of it. Stop. I know that ignoring him seems like it will just make him think that you dont love him, or whatever, but this really works. And the number one thing that you can, and will, do to help your marriage is going to be getting your head squarely back on your shoulders.
You pursuing counselling through military one source will not hurt him at all. Its confidential, and right now, he may be acting shamefully, but we dont have proof that hes doing anything illegal. So, dont worry about that, you need to have some kind of outlet here, and it will be good for you. And you is what we are worried about here!
What do you like to do to make yourself feel good?
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
