I definitely want to go to counseling. My ex has agreed to go, but she told me she is only going so the counselor can tell me I am in the wrong. I was off today and when she came home, she completely acted like I was not there. No hellos, how I'm doing, anything. Then later tonight I was lying down on my bed and she told me to get out of her room so she could sleep. I asked her if anything was wrong, because I felt that she was blowing me off. She told me that she is not obligated to spend time with me and that I needed to get out of her room.
That is just upsetting. We are not even married nor does she pay any of the bills, yet she has the audacity to see that our room is her room only. I hate this neglect. It is as if she has gone cold stone on me. Today I had the entire house cleaned, dinner made and yet none of that mattered to her. On top of that, she came home a lot latter than usual and didn't bother to tell any one.
I really want this relationship to work, but I feel as if we just got a divorce yesterday and somehow there is this big wall between us. She is like a light switch. One day is fine and the very next moment she can be upset amount the littlest thing.
At this point, I am thinking about writing her a letter and basically telling her how I feel about the relationship. No attacks, blame or anything like that. But I want her to know that I love her a lot and that I want us to bond. I want her to know that I am hurt that I am getting blown off and tired even being blamed and put down for every little thing. I know I need to give this some thought as far as what to say.
I am so close to just calling this quits. I know that the grass isn't greener on the other side, but at least there will be grass. I feel like I am in the desert, begging for just a little water from the relationship. I know that I screwed up in the relationship and that she has even right to not forgive me. But I feel like I am being mislead into thinking that she wants to marry me and have a serious relationship.
Lodo, I will definitely give DanceQueen a buzz. Thanks again for the support and advice.
I think in the end, all we can do is become the best version of ourselves and hope that the other person will come around and love who that person is. Only time will tell I guess
