FYI, I also held off exposing my W to OMW for roughly the same reasons you posted, so I kinda understand. It would have caused immense trauma to her personally and in the workplace. My sitch improved, but this point was a "neutral" one, I wouldn't say the non-exposure to OMW helped or obstructed the recovery process. But a big point is that, as long as it took, the fog did lift for my W. I cannot honestly tell you I would not have gone full blown into full exposure otherwise. But the wrong reaction by OMW at the wrong time would have hurt us on a few levels.
Sure, your W has to be responsible for what she is doing and its consequences. There's a line separating that from doing what's best to try and save the M if you that's the stand you are taking.
Got you, Deep. I understand that in threatening the A to mass exposure I’m also considering my own bluff; Am I really ready to do that kind of damage and risk lessening the chance of restoring my marriage? Hard decision to make.
Thanks for helping me think.
H: 50 W: 48 Married 20 years Bomb and separation: 9/12/09 A discovered 12/02/09 http://tinyurl.com/yctnhec
