I'm really sorry, man. I can't say that it surprises me, but it still sucks. While you're off serving our -- HER -- country.
Nice. B*tch.
Have you read AFWAW's old threads yet? There was some really strong advice on there from a guy named Hooper that was specific to the military. I think it could help you.
I suggest a 3-part plan, for the next two weeks:
1. LOVE YOUR KIDS. Enjoy your time with them. They need you, and you need them.
2. Get the best legal advice you can, while you're over here. I can't remember; is yours a "fault" state? Is adultery a ground?
3. We plan your confrontation and exposure strategy.
I know this is going to be hard as hell, but DON'T DO ANYTHING for right now. You need to be the world's greatest actor for a little while, while we plan your next moves.