Wow! I am new here and there's really a lot to learn from the forum!
I can really use some advice about setting boundaries. H's been having A since June this year and I suspect that it has something to do with MLC. Shortly after admitting the A in July, H said he needs time to consider the whole thing and I've been trying to give him the time and space. Until recently he seems to be drifting in between but he seems to be getting deeper and deeper into the A as OW's husband has moved out lately.
One thing that annoys me most is H chatting with OW almost every night on Facebook. I want to set some boundaries but really don't know how. I'm also worry that it might drive him out of the M or move out immediately. It is really a dilemma for me!
BiBi
As I think Puppy posted similarly somewhere else in the last 24 hours, if you have that fear / worry, you're not going to be able to work on saving your M effectively.
There's plenty in this tread and forum on setting boundaries. "I will not live in an open relationship" is a good start. "You will not contact OW in my presence or in our home", "You will not spend our family finances on having an affair", or simply "You will stop contact with OW" are all worthy of considerations.
As I posted in your thread, take the time to absorb what you read here and think things through for yourself. And be prepared to pack his stuff and dump them on the lawn if he breaks your boundaries with OW (you can set him a deadline).
Boundaries are meaningless btw if you have no intention of enforcing them.
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
