Earlier in this thread, Puppy suggested the possibility of bluffing in confronting my W. After giving it some thought, I think I can pull that off and save myself some money and time.
By now, W and OM are thinking, “Whew! Norm hasn’t seen the phone bills. He’s still clueless. But we need to be more careful (which will be evidenced in this billing cycle – 16th to 16th - the calls will drop off from Dec 2nd when I pried the password out of her).” I’m guessing she hasn’t gone over the statements line by line like I have, but it must have occurred to her that they look bad because she changed the password. W thinks I don’t know when or where she moved (and she’s right) so the two have been meeting there whenever in the same careless way that they were calling and texting until it occurred to her that I was suspicious and could view the statements, and she changed the cell phone account password. She realized that they had been careless. We know TM’s go through the roof when there is an affair going on, but she doesn’t know that. She thinks only the phone calls can make it look bad.
So, my confrontation will sound something like this:
“This will not be a discussion or an argument. I know you are having an affair with OM. And I have more than enough proof. You are disrespecting our marriage, our families, and me and it needs to stop. If does not stop I will expose this affair to your family, my family, OM’s wife, our friends, everyone. I do not want to see OM’s cell number on our cell bill ever again. The text messaging needs to stop. I do not want to see OM’s car or police cruiser in front of your apartment, and I don’t want to see OM in our gym ever again.” And turn to walk off. She will undoubted say something like, “We are not having an affair! We’re just friends! What proof do you have?!” I will reply, “What I know and how I know it is my business.” And just keep walking.
I know my W. Even though she’ll put up a front, when I walk away she will be shaking in her boots and thinking:
“Oh sh*t! He’s seen the phone bills! How bad do they look? If OM’s wife sees them it could cause big trouble for him (and me). And the text messaging! How in the world did he know about that? Has he seen something? Does he have some way of spying? And he knows where I live! How long has he known? What has he seen? What else does he know? If he goes to all these people saying that I’m having an affair, I don’t know how I’ll defend myself because I don’t know what he knows. But no matter what, it will cause a huge, ugly sh*t storm.”
I’m also guessing that dropping the hint that I’ve seen the phone bills will cause her to go home and do what I did; print them out an go over them line by line in order to investigate the strength of that piece of my evidence. She’ll sh*t. She’ll know OM”s wife will freak if she sees them. And, as far as she knows, that’s only the tip of the iceberg.
Puppy? Anyone? Any thoughts?
Last edited by Norm914; 12/11/0903:08 AM.
H: 50 W: 48 Married 20 years Bomb and separation: 9/12/09 A discovered 12/02/09 http://tinyurl.com/yctnhec
