Newbie need help - Is it MLC or just infidelity?

[Deep]

Sorry you find yourself here but welcome. I think others will weigh in soon with advice - follow them, especially from the usual posters.

reading through what you wrote, I think there's quite a bit you need to sort out. It's understandable that you are feeling messed up and hurt.

Take the time to really sit yourself down and start from basics. What do you want? Really, seriously. What do you want for yourself as a person, for you? Do you want the marriage? What do you then want from the marriage?

From there, start to discern what is within your control and what is not. Own your feelings, and start owning your actions. Start doing things that make you feel more positive. Do not obssess over choices and actions your H makes. Detach. And do not for one second assume this is the same man you remember loving and marrying. Don't mind read, and don't try to understand the emotional curve balls coming at you.

Then assuming you still want the M, work out the boundaries under which you are prepared to try and work things out. You will hear this sooner or later "I will not live in an open relationship". Set firm, verifiable boundaries on what that means for you. Give yourself and your M over to God.

And yes GAL.

There will be a lot of people here supporting you and pitching for you. You're not totally alone. And you can definitely handle whatever's coming.