There is a saying here on the board that when the WAW is in A with OM you can expect it to be like this when you see her:

She acts all happy, talkative, etc. = A is going well and she probably was just with the OM.

She is down, depressed, acting b*tchy, etc. = Things with OM is not going well and he may be wanting to back away.

Even though I feel sorry for her the way you described how she looked.......that might mean that she's not very happy with OM at the moment and that is good.

I think you handled yourself very well. The boundary was great.

You are in a special stitch given her past situation. Remember to do like you did this last time. Be nice, calm, firm and if she offers to be nice....that's good. Just don't allow your emotions to get sucked into the moment and over-kill on any of the DBing. Do you know what I mean?

I don't think you did this time (over-kill)......but I'm talking about in future times.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!