Thanks Sandi. I'm guessing when you say "cake eat" you mean when she tries to maintain affair and marriage at same time, see boys whenever, etc, correct?
Correct!
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I think it was a positive sign that my wife broke down, actually, but I'm not going to change my approach or get hopeful and start crapping sunshine. Perhaps she is finally accessing all the shame and guilt. Perhaps not. Who knows.
The sign of tears can mean a lot of different things, but I think it would be to your benefit to not try to guess why she broke down. Remember her emotions rule everything in her right now, and just the pressure of that session and the fact that you spoke up to tell the C what was really going on.....would have been enough to bring tears for some women. Even if she has been emotionally strong in the past...she's a different person now.
I hope she did feel shame b/c that is the first step in her facing the truth as it is......and not how she tries to rewrite history, or her fantasy world she dreams up.
Stay strong.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
