I am sorry about all this. For him to say that you are blowing this out of proportion in your head (or something like that)just blows me away. Let's rewind shall we...I have been having an affair for 3 years, i get caught, i try to slowly reconcile, i do not make love to my wife (or even try), i ignore her requests to be more "open" (letter/passwords etc) and finally i do not get her anything for our anniversary. Wow.....if this was a movie, it would have to be in the science fiction section because the main character (your H) would be from another planet.
In the past, I always gave your H the benefit of the doubt...not sure why. Then you produced the proof of his affair and i lost respect for him. You decided that he was worth it so I again (against my better judgement) started to give him the benefit of the doubt. Everytime I felt like writing something negative, i held back. Is it possible that Maria is too honest with him...too in your face....too hung up on the past and the OW? Is it spooking him out? Which brings us to the anniversary...how much "work" is it to call a florist and give him your credit card number? What do u want the note to say mr. Kalni? Oh I don't know...you are my only one....ah...maybe thanks for giving me another chance...ahhhh....i can't believe i almost threw the best thing that ever happened to me away...ah..i am sorry i put you through all this..... I can go on all night...granted some of these are not very good, however, they are better than ...........they are better than.......they are better than nothing.
So, when I read some of the ladies saying stuff like "He is not doing the work and he hasn't done the work in years.", hell this is not even WORK...this is just "normal". Or "He didn't know what you wanted. And he didn't know what you would do - i.e. if you would get him a gift. And if I remember correctly, you didn't talk to him in advance about doing anything or exchanging gifts." Come on, even if your wife says we are not exchanging gifts this Christmas (for example), you still get her something. Every Man on the planet knows that!
So, maybe I am over reacting as well...after all, he is not the first man in the world to have forgotten an anniversary gift...oh yeah he did not forget, he remembered the date but just did not bother getting some flowers. Meanwhile, you booked a chef and bought some jewelry.....well, for what it is worth, he is no longer getting the benefit of the doubt from me.
You do what you have to do to find happiness Maria. You know what you need and you know what he brings to the table.
From where I am sitting, you deserve alot more than what you have been receiving lately. Most of us on here do. The quicker we come to terms with what we want and what the other party can bring to the dance, the better.
