It really sucks that it is so close to Christmas. I don't even know how that is going to play out. Do I tell my immediate family now? Can't really see how to keep it from them over the holidays.
What I am going to tell the kids (4 and 2) when they wonder why daddy no longer sleeps at home?
H is really going to push selling the house and cohabitating until then.
The flood gates are starting to open now - I need to have a good cry.
I will check back in the morning.
OH (((((MG)))))
My heart is hurting for you so much right now. This was only a month ago that I confronted my H, it is still fresh enough that I feel so much for you.
Stay strong, you did an amazing job! Amazing!
In the days after confronting my H, I focused on communicating to him that I do not want a D, that I am willing to work on our issues, my own and help him with his but only if there is NC with OW. I "kept the road paved" back to the M if that is what he chose, but with the clear boundaries in place. I then backed off, took care of myself and the kids. I let the R with OW self-destruct. Which it did. When OW found out I knew everything, she thought that was her chance to push hard to get H to move out and move in with her. She showed her true colors in not caring about impact on me and kids. This was a huge wake up for H. I made myself "the better option".
Also- re: talking to kids. My kids are teens, but I made H take responsibility for telling them since this was HIS choice, not mine. When he told them about the possibility of a separation, I made it clear to kids that was NOT my choice.
I think talking to other family members is a personal choice, I told a few I could really trust, but didn't want everyone knowing for reasons that were important to me. Seek support, but choose carefully who you trust. Remember, if you do repair your M, those people may have a hard time forgiving your H and accepting him back.
Please take care of yourself right now. It is so important. YOu will be ok, no matter what H decides. Try to eat... I know it feels impossible with a stomach in knots. LIttle bits of healthy food here and there.
