Thanks GIMA, I did mention it to him. I have no idea if he will control his mouth in the future, but I did make it short, sweet and simple and he heard me. I also told him to call if he was going to be late = as he was 1 1/2 hrs late.
He seemed to calm down when I "listened and validated" his need for space after that -= he said he is "really busy and stressed"???? and wanted time in the house alone if I don't want him to take S to his apartment for the night. In a good faith effort, I went to my neighbor's and watched tv for a few hours.
I feel like well he moved out why is he complaining he has no time for himself. But I did a 180 on my usual fighting stance - I would have normally just said that to him and said I'm not leaving my house. I am hoping the listening and validating tactic works - seems to be in that he is TALKING more and YELLING less (something the MC advised me on). However, I'm scared I'm just letting him have his way with getting nothing in return. Oh well, that is part of DB isn't it? Trying to meet their needs so they feel safe and supported without expecting anything back? In that way, I was successful.
However it still feels like crap because I'm afraid I'm just letting him push me around - at least I'm insisting he be doing it more calmly . Anyone who has followed my sitch knows the kind of verbal abuse he's doled out for so long. At least I'm dealing iwth getting that under control.
As for him coming back eventually? As for a Busted Divorce? Still seems like a huge huge road. Trying to focus on the small changes and successes.
. Anyone who has followed my sitch knows the kind of verbal abuse he's doled out for so long. At least I'm dealing iwth getting that under control.
