Sometimes I'm really not sure what the concept of letting go entails. STBX and I don't call each other to chat but we do ask favours of each other. We, the odd time, confide in each other about personal situations but not often. We parent our children together, have the odd family meal together and still, when practical, have family birthdays etc together. She's still considered part of my parents family and is therefore invited to events e.g. Thanksgiving and, of course, if I asked that she not be invited she wouldn't be. I don't sit around thinking about her or thinking about how to re-ignite the R. I've lived pretty independently of her for along time. Granted, the last few months we've been friendlier but I see that as a plus for all involved not as some stone around my neck that I need to get rid of to move on. In the two years I've been separated I have done a great deal to build a new life for myself socially. I'm not unhappy. So, I do understand that the attachement between STBX and I is a bit on the odd side as most ex's don't do what we do but does it cause me anxiety? I don't think so. My anxiety comes from having been hit with something that I couldn't control which aparently brought back all the times in the past where I lived without feeling control. But, who really knows, I guess that's what the therapy will help me figure out! Thanks for your thoughts OT.
