my W doesn't regret her affair

[antlers]

Trying to prepare myself ahead of time for interaction with my W in the near future. Don't know what will happen at the mediation, but I want to be ready with a plan, instead of trying to shoot from the hip, which I'm lousy at.

If she gives me attitude that I'm the one ending our M, and therefore she should get consideration in the mediation, how should I respond? My impulse would be to ask the mediator to leave the room, then strongly, but calmly, say something like "W, don't put this on me. You ended our M when you decided to have an A and leave me. I hung in for a year, working on myself, owning my failures, being open with you about how I feel about you, and showing my willingness to work on our M. You've given a few vague indications that you don't want to lose the security our M offers you, but nothing that says you're serious about saving our M. Your decisions over the last year and a half have led us here, and I won't tolerate this attitude that now YOU'RE the victim."

Or should I just say "W, you know who led us here, so spare me the attitude. Let's just get through this and get it done."

Or should I ignore her attitude and keep pushing my agenda?

I like your first and second responses futureunknown, but I wouldn't ask the mediator to leave the room...I'd say it in front of the mediator...calmly, cool, and collected.