New to this Community seeking advice

[JR09]

Long time no post. I have been trying to plan my leave time with the boys for Christmas. I have to say I have an issue with the dates my W gave me. 27 Dec-2 Jan is a week long. It's still a week, granted. but I wish I had more time with them.

I did something that is not DB approved today: I called my W's mom. Her and I have always had a decent relationship in 16 years. I needed her input or guidance on my plans to ask my W for more days with the boys. So I called. She was pleasant. Not overly nice and outgoing. Just polite. I'm sure she probably thought I was using her to sway my W's decision to keep the dates as they stand. I am aware of that. Maybe that's why I sensed a guarded attitude from her. Haven't spoken to her for at least 2 years!

My MIL just asked me to call back later and ask the question directly to my W. I'll do that this evening. I kind of regret calling. My emotions took over for that brief 7 minutes with my MIL. I asked about the boys and thanked her for what she does to help my W and boys each day.

Anyway. Not a good DB move, I know. But what is done is done. I'm sure my MIL will tell my W that I called, so I'm waiting for the reaction this evening. I keep thinking that I have just as much rights to the boys as my W. Why can't I spend more than 7 days with the boys? why can't I come earlier than 27 Dec and be with them too? This is just crazy. No common sense. I am separated. Not divorced. And I feel I am not asking for much. Just 3 or 4 extra days. This is crazy.

Well, DBing is hard. I didn't do too well by calling MIL. I acknowledge that. Why do WAS have to be so mean? Or I am the one at fault? I KNOW I am a changed man. I just wish my W could see that as well. But she probably is deeply stuck in her "fog of war". Maybe I am too.

JR