I said exactly that. He said he "was thinking about it but...didnt do anything". Just like last year.
A big convo started from there involving some tears. He had the guts to ask me why didnt I do something. I told him, my committement to this M is not questioned and that I have done something only he would need to spend with me a few minutes to actually see it. I was hoping he would. He didnt.
A lot of things were said. Basically I told him that I am not going to justify his inaction and indifference or pretend it is a hidden kind of love. That I need some specifics he has refused or ignored and that "peace" the way he sees it does not involve connection. I told him I will not go on with him making choices every step of the way over me and the kids. We talked about his work, the A and all the energy he put into that, in comparison to the energy he puts into us.
I told him he hurt me last year the same day, he hurt this year alot more and that I hope he will be my past next year so that he cant hurt me. I told him, enough is enough. I can not dictate to him thing he as any normal person should feel, I dont judge him, but I AM finally making a choice not to live like this anymore. He said, "no, dont talk like this, I realisenow I hurt you, you blow things out of proportion in you head" and I snapped at him telling him you can blow NOTHING out of proportion.
I hung up the phone because I wasb breaking down in tears. AFter I told him we should plan for seperate Christmas... K
