Question

[awest1217]

Thank you. I am trying to stay strong and not be mean to H. Showing him that he can tell me things, but at the same time he needs to understand I have a right to get upset, but that does not mean I am going to be mean to him. He is still putting everything back on me and not taking responsibility for his part which drives me nuts. I was reading today and what keeps me strong is my faith. I know I am doing the right thing. Even though it hurts, marriage is sacred as we all believe and I will keep standing (I can't fight anymore too weak) for my marriage no matter what. Even when the New Year rolls in, I will still be standing for my marriage. I am not going to file, but I won't be as accomodating either. I am thinking if things don't change (OW out! not necessarily back home) I will cut ties with me. Just thoughts right now. Still working through it.

I am banking everything on one week from today. It really will let me know where H stands at least. I have a card and I am writing and rewriting what I am going to put in it. The card is a good one (hard to find a card for this situation), but it says simply I believe in our love and nothing more. It is perfect. So now just to put the right things in to say how I feel without pushing him away or pursuing too much.

Tomorrow will probably be pizza at the in-laws, then Saturday at b-day party at Chuck E Cheese. Sunday is church. THen the next week starts again. Monday nothing. Tuesday SYTYCD finale. Wednesday prepare for THursday. Thursday is anniversary. Friday church christmas party. Saturday play practice for S. Sunday H is coming to church to see S in play. The first time since August.