I just wish the man would "man up". I know you're here to stay, as he talks about the future constantly. So talk to me about it, tell me what's going on.
Puppy's 3rd Law of Thermodynamics:
Weak men at rest don't "man up" until acted upon by some outside force.
Am I to be the outside force? As Gucci mentioned earlier?
Yes.
Use the Force young Britt54, use the Force.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Am I to be the outside force? As Gucci mentioned earlier?
Yes Britt, I believe so. When you "act as if" and also are able to hold a firm line with H about how you are approaching things, it creates a force to be reckoned with!
Just recently, now that we are "piecing" things back together, H has told me that this got his attention. He was forced to see that he could not continue in limboland. There was a choice to be made, and he began to realize, not only what he would be losing and throwing away with our family, but also the huge risks and gambles he was thinking of taking in leaving and continuing with OW.
It may not feeling like it at the time (because he won't show it or admit it easily or quickly), but that really does have a bigger impact than you know.
How is your 'research' into uncovering 'the truth' going?
Quote:
My H just got a blackberry like 4 or 5 days ago. And I'm ready to smash it into a cement wall. He is on it CONSTANTLY!!!!! I am sooooo irritated. Our son will ask him a question and sometimes has to ask 3 or 4 times before H will answer him cause he is too busy on that damn thing. Never used to be like this, but I'd really like to know what he is doing on there constantly.
The phone is a source of "truth."
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Did I read somewhere that you and H watched a movie and he was on the Blackberry the entire time? No need to smash anything against a wall but I am curious why you allowed it to continue?
Why not say "H, I am trying to watch a movie and your constant use of the Blackberry is rude and distracting. Please go play with your phone somewhere else so I can enjoy the movie"
Honestly, what do you think he is doing on there? Affairs are addictive situations, so much so that his son and W will come second if OW is available to chat.
My H just got a blackberry like 4 or 5 days ago. And I'm ready to smash it into a cement wall. He is on it CONSTANTLY!!!!! I am sooooo irritated. Our son will ask him a question and sometimes has to ask 3 or 4 times before H will answer him cause he is too busy on that damn thing. Never used to be like this, but I'd really like to know what he is doing on there constantly.
Hate to say it Brit, but my guess he is using the BB to possibly communicate with OW.
Regardless, sounds like you need to set a boundary. Something to the effect of no BB use during family time, in front of you, or around your kiddos.
Me & H: 33 yrs S: 4 & 6 D: 2 M: 9 yrs ILYBNILWY: 8/09 SEPARATED: 9/09 The Beginning
Hate to say it Brit, but my guess he is using the BB to possibly communicate with OW.
I agree.
Originally Posted By: motherof3
Regardless, sounds like you need to set a boundary. Something to the effect of no BB use during family time, in front of you, or around your kiddos.
I also agree. Like I said, I might be showing my age but I don't get the idea of using texting as a primary form of communication.
I can see doing quick check-ins or asking simple questions, but having whole conversations seems very rude and impersonal -- especially around others.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Have to agree Britt... My H's constant texting was my first red flag back in March. He never did that before OW. I think you need to explore that further as well as set boundaries with its use in front of you and the kids. I wish I had been on this forum back then to learn things like that. I let that go on WAYYYYYY too long!
