Changing Man

[Serenity13]

((((Gardener)))

And I drove home in such a state of peace and serenity like I haven't felt in a long time.

It is a great place to be in isn't it? I am proud of you my friend - Principles over money any day - That is what we call integrity and it is nice to see it flowing from you.

[rockedworld]

I echo Serenity's post... you are showing strength and integrity in a very difficult situation. Keep doing what you need to do for YOU!

[courts0818]

Hi Gardener,
I noticed on another thread that you suggested a cell phone spyware thing.

As I work on me, I'm also wanting to collect info on H. Do you know anything about the spyware?

[Gardener]

Haven't posted much on your thread, but I have been watching.

. I know you have. Ditto me and yours. Sometimes I have nothing to say, and sometimes there just is nothing to be said."

[Gardener]

courts,

Hi Gardener,
I noticed on another thread that you suggested a cell phone spyware thing.

As I work on me, I'm also wanting to collect info on H. Do you know anything about the spyware?

No, at least not the ones that transmit all of the targeted telephone's incoming and outgoing calls and texts directly to your (or other designated phone). With some you have to have access to the designated phone to do some entering and programming, others you do not.
I have used spoofcard.com and called stbxw with a different number appearing on her id screen. And have called one or two targeted people with stbxw's phone number appearing on their caller-id display. Interesting. And cool. First, though, I tried it out by calling my cell from my land line with a different display number and then calling my brother showing our mother's number on his display just to make absolutely sure it was fool-proof. It was.

Also, beware of prepaid call cards now. Used to be they would show "blocked (or unknown) number" on display. Now, most of them, despite the myriad of numbers and access codes you have to enter to make the call will still display your phone number as the originating/calling phone.
That's about all I know.

[mindfull]

Hey Gardener:

NICE work at mediation. I was so proud of you, reading that post.

I just read your entry to Courts. Why would one want to use that spoofcard.com thing? Seems odd.

[Gardener]

I also had three other thoughts on the way home last night and today:

1) Nothing has either progressed or backslid in our sitch since she announced D bomb in May except we have had less and less contact (virtually no contact) in 2-3 months. I mean in June we had a few non-R talks, in July she took me out for my birthday. Also in July I proposed and we calmly discussed postponing any D initiating until September, She agreed. Pleasant, inane conversations up to and including August.

2) Since she initiated mediation in September (again, nothing's really changed sitch-wise), she has become increasingly disdainful, bitter, insulting and all-around acting like she's interacting with Charles Manson or some such demon whenever she's in my presence. "'Supwitdat? Advanced/advancing script?"

3) With all I've journaled over the months, and with the increasing, inexplicable semi-hatred she displays towards me, plus the subtlety with which she's begun poisoning my StepD & S against me, and my frequent past-tense comments about being in love with and remembering a memory, Last night and today it manifested itself in the present tense: I don't even like her.

Something went horribly wrong with her thinking in the last 18 months (again my theory centers around death of abusive father she shut out 25 years ago).So I do feel compassion for her repressed and misdirected inner turmoil. I hope she comes to terms and healing peace with that (hopefully with someone other than her whacked out IC). But that's about it. My last surviving feeling is just one one of deep, deep disappointment.

Well, I was going to journal a couple of quick thoughts, but there I went rambling on again ("guilty of unbridled self-expression" as quack MC said!}

[Gardener]

Hey Gardener:I just read your entry to Courts. Why would one want to use that spoofcard.com thing? Seems odd.

Actually, I called her phone displaying numbers of two people I suspected affairs with from semi-illegal phone records of her itemized phone bills I purchased.
With one, she aswered excitedly, sweetly, loudly, "Hi!!" Hah! said Gardener. Except that new frequently incoming/outgoing number turned out to be her sister's new phone number. Twice I called suspected OM MC's private number late at night and got a friendly, non-curious, non-professional, "Hi, J."
Just nosin' around with some techy toys that might have revealed something "telling".

[mindfull]

How did you get the semi-illegal phone records?

[Gardener]

How did you get the semi-illegal phone records?

Called a few P.I.s randomly from yellow pages. They all charged $600 a pop (month) so I just chose the one I had felt I had a good rapport with.

Hey, Mindfull: a few weeks ago I reported an unsubstantiated gut suspicion I had that I may have been compromised on this site.

You wouldn't happen to be Mrs. Gardener, now, would you?