You asked me in another thread to comment on all the updates you have made. While ignoring that request would be rude on my part I am not sure there is much else to say that has not been said ad nauseum to you since I joined this site.
You must detach. And detaching is not just about acting like you don't give a flying fig when you talk/see/spend time with your W, it's about adopting that mindset 110% of the time. You have been separated for quite some time and really should be much further along than you are. BUT you are your own worse enemy when it comes to making progress.
No more justifications, excuses or explanations. Stop analyzing every little thing and redirect your energy towards something better. Your W does not want to be married to you at this time and perhaps never again. She is involved with other men.
I agree with the other posters that you come across as very needy. The constant wondering, the way you crumble around your W, the way you cling to one good exchange and quite simple the way you present yourself is the very definition of neediness.
The post you made about the day you spent together as a family for your daughter's b-day was all about you and your W with only a brief mention of your children. You said it felt like "old times" and I am stunned you can regress in that way. Did "old times" include you and your W going to separate homes, exchanging the children weekly and your W sleeping w/other men?
I was also stunned you simply handed your phone over to your W for her to examine. Had that been me I would have said in a flirty and commanding way "Oh,I don't let just *anyone* see my phone, that's private" winked at her and walked away like I was the sexiest person on the planet. If she asked again I would have come back with a response such as "sure, babe, you can scroll through my phone while I scroll through yours" and again, walked away in a fashion nobody would soon forget!
If she wants to check out the droid tell her to go to the phone store and have a look. What an opportunity you missed out on! You could have said "sure babe, we can check out the Droid, I will pick you up tomorrow at 8 and take you to the phone store to check it out!" Chances are she would have shot you down but once again it may have shown her that you don't just do what she asks when she asks.
You gave her way too much info about the apartment and should have said "when I decide I will let you know!".
Lastly, why did you listen to her ramble on and on about her potential new jobs? As per the IM exchange you posted just a bit ago she clearly does not care about your job as she essentially scolded and bossed you around for having to work late on a project that had no solid timeline for completion. Instead of standing up to her and saying "W, I understand me being unable to provide you with an exact time is difficult at this moment I do not have a firm time as to when I will be done with my project deadline. In the future please respect my time when I am working and I will touch base with you within the hour to update my availability"
Instead you answered with "understood" as if she was a commander and you a mere peon. Needy, not attractive and it makes you sound like a wimp. Sorry to be blunt but your remind me of my H and he is so wimpy it's almost pitiful.
Also, you said she wish she would just be upfront about what she is doing (OM) yet I doubt you were upfront with her about meeting a hooker, the girl at the bar and this other lady you thought was the bees knees. You are SEPARATED therefore stop wishing and live your life. You expect her to do things you don't do.
I don't care if you stand, starve yourself, chant, use voodoo dolls or whatever the theme of the week is - DETACH and stop letting this woman steam roll you and boss you around like she does. Stop reading into EVERYTHING and pretend she doesn't exist unless it's about parenting.
