[quote=soleil]Good for you. That shows me you have dignity.
Yes! Dignity! I need to get out of this rut and back into the gym. I just wonder if I could ever even go back to my house, you know? I still have pics of all my stuff on the lawn!
Gnosis, when was the last time you talked to your wife?
We're still occupying the same oxygen bubble. We regularly murmur the occasional and customary formalities. As for REAL talk where we "connect"... rarely.
I thought I'd cut and paste some snippets of what I posted to FutureUnknown here in my own thread because I need to be reminded of it myself every now and again.
Originally Posted By: Gnosis
You said we're separated and we're done, then we're separated, and we're done. I dunno how many times I've to said this on the board: Anything you say or do can and will be used against you... Guaranteed! That my friend is what is called MANIPULATION and your W is extremely GOOD at it. That's what MC's do don't they? Use your own words against you to dig deeper into the meaning behind them. To get you to doubt your own motives and discover your intentions.
Originally Posted By: Gnosis
What is going on with her? She is not responding how I'm expecting. Don't have any expectations.
Again I'm worried I've pushed her away for good. You're trying to mindread. You don't know what she's thinking. <SNIP> Let her think it's over. You wanted the CRISIS... this is part of it. Just like your own mind is your worst enemy, so is hers.
Originally Posted By: Gnosis
Oh, and if you're wondering how I come up with all this SH!T... my mother is an professional emotional blackmailer (I had 28 years of that crap until I put my foot down on it... and she STILL manages to get me sometimes.) And my W is a psychologist. I often joked to friend that I was her guinea pig... I don't do that anymore.
When I was talking about attraction, I meant mutual attraction. Relationship keeps going as long as mutual attraction is still there. Is "being a better choice" all about keeping the attraction going?
Gnosis amd mindful, I ordered 350$ worth of stuff from VS and charged it to his card "by accident" and ordered 2 tiny vibrators (one for me and one for BGF for Christmas- not both for me although I could use a back up one-LOL!!). I plan to start using my new BoB while he sleeps beside me Maybe that would get the point across to him. Of course he may just ask me to go somewhere else not to disrupt his sleep... K
So, from what I read, you had/have a mom who is an emotional blackmailer. (Wow, how did you turn out so good???) Did/Does she try to guilt you into doing things for her, spending time w/her, doing something she wants you to do????
And, W is a psychologist? Good Lord! Do you feel like you're under a microscope much? Does she FEEL anything, or is she constantly evaluating, gauging, measuring, etc...?
(HOPE THESE TWO DON'T WORK TOGETHER FOR A COMMON CAUSE!!!!)
And, it appears you have some hint of the possibility of infidelity. Are you pursuing evidence? Or, are you trying other tactics to make this situation better...? (Something tells me infidelity IS a deal breaker for you.)
So, IF there is that possibility, AND you are pursuing evidence, I guess we wait that out? IF there is, and it's a deal breaker, ok... "Sorry, W, you've made my decision. Catch ya on the flip-side."
BUT, IF NOT, are you considering creating a crisis?
And, am I commenting on what I'm supposed to? (BLONDE!)
Just getting my arms around this... Sometimes I require being led.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Maybe that would get the point across to him. Of course he may just ask me to go somewhere else not to disrupt his sleep... 
(BLONDE!)