Now I get why you want her to file for D (if that happens)... good point. She should do all the work involved!
About shining the light (beautiful metaphor BTW!): Did you let your WAW know you still love her before you went NC? I mean did you give her a NC letter of some kind? Does she know that you don't want a divorce?
I hate to say this, but the gift idea seems like chasing. It also seems a little confusing, like sending mixed signals. You are not contacting her and have not for almost 3 months. Then you give her a gift of mixed music and a card...it is a very sweet and personal gesture.
I also remember my DB coach's advice: don't do anything drastic until the holidays are over. He said we tend to get emotional/sentimental/lonely/exuberant/depressed during this time so it blows things out of proportion (good or bad).
So that is my opinion. Heck, I truly would not be surprised if she reached out to you in some way, but it might be an email or text or would she give you a Christmas card?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
