Had a great day sunday. Took S13 to see his friend perform in a play, and then to lunch for his favorite food. We had a great time. While we were gone, W had cooked an entire Thanksgiving meal. I gather that she must have missed doing it she gone. Nonetheless, she set it up as a buffet. She retreated to her room and didn't eat together.
Later that night, S13 found out that he had passed his band audition. Ever since our sitch started 6 weeks ago, he's poured his energy into improving himself. He was so worried about the result of the audition, and wanted to check the emails for the results every 30 minutes. I was so proud of him, and the results were just a bonus.
I'm still not sure about this direction I'm taking, but it doesn't really matter. I'm more detached and calmer. W doesn't seem to be doing well. Tonight she was supposed to goto D17's mandatory meeting about her upcoming band trip. I wanted to go, but W said it was her turn. The meeting was at 7pm. At 6:55, W was locked in her room. I had to knock several times to get a response. I'm presuming she had drank herself to sleep again. I told her I would go to the meeting, and then scrambled over there. 20-30 minutes later, she texted D17, and met her outside the meeting to drop of food for D17 and her boyfriend.
She's very stressed. I know she is meeting with the forensic accountant from her shark lawyer tomorrow.
I'll just continue to be patient, and work on my calm.
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
One of my W's complaints about me has been our lack of a large group of friends outside our M. I've always been the type that prefers one or two close friends over large groups of people. Part of my GAL routine has been to connect with more people, old friends, and develop more of a social life for myself.
Posting here has been part of that effort. It's not easy for me, any I find myself confronting my shyness and uncertainty about my social skills every time I post. Ok, so I'm not getting many replies anymore, and I hope I haven't become one of the hopeless cases. I do appreciate all of the responses I have gotten.
I'll keep posting, because right now it helps me to vent, and I think it's good for me to have a record of this.
Right now, I'm still wondering if my current direction is a good one. I've made a few posts about it, and if anyone has an opinion I'd sure like to hear it.
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
Not much time to respond, but I wanted to suggest that you begin posting on others' threads as well. It helps you "meet" other people on the board, and you'll get more traffic.
When H dropped the bomb on me, I was very shy as well. It was part of his issue with me. On top of it all, we'd just moved here a year before, and all of my good friends were in a city 2000 miles away. I worked in IC and on my own through GAL stuff and have conquered those fears.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
Another shy guy here too! I have not posted for awhile on my own sitch but I wanted to comment. At the end of october I told my wife that I knew about her ea and that I did not want to be married to her anymore. I told her that I had learned alot about myself throught his experience and that I was thankful for it. I went extremely dark for 2 weeks until we went to a concert with our D8. I was a gentleman, funny, cool and I had plenty of phone calls to answer. I remained dark until the end of november. I decided I would send her a text with an inside joke from the night of the concert. She responded within about 30 seconds. I sent another and again she responded quick. I ended it and a few days later I tried it again. I texted asking about her doctors appointment. She responded quickly again. Now, I think I have sent her texts almost every day for about 2 weeks. So now I am getting even more gutsy, I told her that her hair looks "really hot". I just didnt care what her response might be and there was none. But, she was still very friendly towards me shortly after that and not at all stand offish. You CAN be friendly AND ocasionaly send the message that you find her interesting. It take time.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
Lately I think my hopes/expectations for my M have died, but it still is heartening to hear what you saying. Especially with regards to the time frame;
I'm gonna go look up your sitch now.
(by the way; are you a musician too?)
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
I've been trying to post on others thread, but that seems like the hardest. I've been going to IC too, but it's been mainly crises management. I see now I need to focus it on my own personal problems.
thanks for taking the time
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
tough night; I went to D17's band concert. I didn't know W was going, and there was a little awkward moment when I stupidly started to sit in another row, she saw me, and I turned around and asked if it was ok if I sat with her. I think I should've just sat down.
anyway, after the concert, D17 was pretty upset with her boyfriend (of two years) for multiple reasons. As I was walking out with D17, we saw the boy with another girl being much too friendly. Within an hour of getting home, the boyfriend called and brokeup with D17, and then 10 minutes announced it on facebook to all their friends. D17 is devastated.
Both W and I were there to console her. Sadly, she didn't want much to do with us, and I can see and understand her anger in both of us right now.
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
