Taken on it's own, I think S5's statement was an overreaction to what H said. But.... I expect it is because of other things that H has been saying. In this instance, I think saying he would come by when you were not there would be because he is uncomfortable when you are there. Like I said I think S5's statement comes from other things he has heard.
I worry that your H only has his own interests in mind, and not the kids. In the end, I think he will be exposed, but with a 5 year old it is hard. It would be good if there was someone to tell him the kids feel like a part of both parents, and it hurts them to to have either parent run down the other.
