For those with a WAS...How do you cope?

[courts0818]

Day 14, Journaling
Well, yay rah...I've made it 2 weeks. It's a small start, but I'm proud of it.

So tonight I was on my way home from class and the store. I was feeling a little down so I prayed that God would show me something, some kind of glimmer of hope...

Maybe this was the "something" I prayed for. H and I usually just do our own thing when he's here. We really don't talk or interact much unless it has to do with DD. Well, I was making her lunch for tomorrow, looking down. The next thing I knew I was getting hit in the head by one of DD's little balls. Okay, at first I got a lil pissy, but then I saw H in the living room cracking up. It turned into a wrestling/tickling kind of match and a ball fight. IDK...is any attention even this, better than nothing? Should I be "happy" with the wedgies he gave me in the kitchen and the play fights or should I be annoyed? IDK.

And he told DD he was going to come over again tomorrow to see her. That's interesting bc he stopped coming over on Thursdays since he's been here on Wednesdays to watch DD during my class.

One thing I didn't like was how much he was on his phone. He has a blackberry now and he's on it 24/7. I haven't said anything to him though.

3 things I'm thankful for today:
1. Our home and heat - it's windy and gonna get reaaaal cold tonight.
2. That I can turn to God in my prayers and He will always be with me.
3. Leftovers - it's nice to open the fridge and just have to warm things up.

I did feel some sadness today - it's hard to get Christmas cards in the mail especially photo cards that have family pics or ones that say ...Love the ______ family.

Ahhh...just gotta do the best that I can do. : )