I'd appreciate if you could ju7mp back to my reply to your post and let me know how I do the 180 and remove the R as a possibility and also become a HARDASS while still keeping NC.
In my opinion your doing just that by GAL. The longer you go with no contact the more she will believe that the R is off the table. I do not think this is something you say or do but something that is communicated by just being the new confidant you.
