Yes, wife confirmed that dbag is in middle of divorce. He has three kids. He also was in counseling when he decided to hit on my wife, who was diagnosed with MS early last year. Grade A dbag.
I like the idea about normalizing, it makes sense. I'm not going to let her double dip.
UPDATE: So I came home tonight, and she had gotten out the decorations, and we went to get a tree. I didn't talk much, just turned up the music and sang, and she was more chatty, talking about various topics. As soon as we got the tree up, she conveniently got a missed call, and she went outside to smoke and return it, and returned saying it was a friend from work (the female friend who supposedly she stayed with last night...) and she needed my wife to babysit because her mother is in the hospital. So I responded, without batting an eye, "Ok, so that means you need to go stay with her tonight, right? Before you leave, we need to set a few guidelines though." And I proceeded to discuss my rules:
-She is not to come back in the house after tomorrow without extended notice, and she is not allowed to come close to moving back in until the affair is over. No negotiation on that.
-She needs to get the extended stay hotel chosen, and fast (tomorrow), so I can plan my weeks without her coming and going. Her boys need to know where she is staying so they can feel more stable also.
Wife agreed, saying that was "fine" but her head was bowed, like a kid that was taking a timeout. I don't care. Natural consequences.
I'm actually excited she's out. I didn't want her here tonight. And now I can watch Deadwood again. And enjoy a beer.
