Ian you're so right. After my divorce, I posted for about a month or so....because of the stupid plan and other BS I was dealing with. After that, it was a yearly update. I came back a few months ago and reread some of those and it really made me sad. Mostly though, sad to see what I would accept. I thought so little of myself that crumbs from crumbs were acceptable to me. DB didn't do that, I did that, with "trying to fix".
I can tell you now, I am so much happier now. Peanut and I - so much happier now. Her father, perhaps, is a lost cause until he figures it out. He is not my problem anymore. Unless he does something wrong as a father to our daughter. Then it will be dealt with...promptly and directly.
It's funny though. This summer we had to have a come to Jesus meeting...and he kept trying to bait me into a fight. I wasn't going there. I was going to talk about the issues, and ONLY the issues that needed to be discussed. He wanted to talk about the past, and how he couldn't understand why I couldn't let the past go (I have) and why we can't talk like civilized adults (we were) and why I can't talk to him like a normal person (I was for the most part.) I did say that I wouldn't go into all of the reasons we can't "get along" like normal people but that we were there to discuss Peanut and those issues only. He kept baiting, wanting to know what it was that made me feel we couldn't get along. I can't "be friends" with someone I can't trust.
This is the person who for all intents and purposes was dating the happy cow during our marriage and lying about it. Who was dating the happy cow during our separation & divorce (and lying about it). The person who was dating the happy cow less than a year ago, but has a 5 month old baby, is engaged to be married, telling Peanut he regretted divorcing me.
He has issues beyond my control. I am good. I could stand to win a lottery but other than that, I'm great.
if not a little long winded
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
