My H and I do not believe in religion, especially Christianity. I find no fault with people who do; it is not my path. We believe in something more akin to "the force". To me everything in the universe is connected. I also believe in karma, and that we draw energy to ourselves through our attitudes and choices. The energy we put forth is most often what we draw back. Positive = positive; negative = negative. Sometimes strange things do just happen and we don't understand why. I am also a practitioner of tarot. My cards give me insight into the world around me and myself. They tell what CAN be not what WILL be.
Over a year ago I saw this A of my H's coming. But I did not take steps to alter that path. Also, my own karma had drawn negative energy into my life. These are ways in which I have contributed to the situation in which I currently find myself.
My H did take steps against my A. He attacked mainly my OM - hurting his career especially. And I will say that I know him fairly thoroughly. I have come here to get help saving my marriage. Because I have seen, too, that this is possible.
I will try things that are scary, difficult, and even counter-intuitive. But I will not make choices or take actions that I am certain will end in divorce.
As for the roller coaster analogy...eh, it's the best one I can give. That is the way an A feels. I should not make assumptions - have you ever been the one in the affair?
"You are not entitled to "ride until the end"; that you believe so shows an amazing level of entitlement (and maybe some lingering feelings about your own affair?)."
Please don't make assumptions about me either. Feelings are interesting and tangled things to sort out. But all I feel about the A is relief to have come through it and hope that I can repair my life.
"I'm sorry you feel that way. But if you expect people here to kiss your forehead, pat your hand and tell you that it's going to be OK and to follow your gut, you are in the wrong place. (And I'm a teddy bear compared to some of the people on here...)"
Do not patronize me, it's rude. I never expected to come here and be told how doing things my way would bring my husband back and that I can relax because it will all work out. But none of us has all the answers or we wouldn't be here in the first place. I don't believe there is "one right way" for all people to do anything.
And if after reading the books and trying some of the tactics I find I have been mistaken all along, you can be sure I will seek you out. At that time I will be happy to admit you were right and I was wrong. But until that time, I think you are right. We will have to just disagree. If that means you feel your time is better spent on other posters, I understand.
I will willingly accept criticism and rebuke - when I have earned them.
undefeated 24 H 24 S's 4, 2, 1 M 5 yrs
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." ~Dale Carnegie
