Another waw/mlc and I need support

[cyclone]

Hey Cat,

Still been thinking of this leaving thing. As I said, I don't want to do it because I think the kids really need the stability that I give them. But...

While I know that I can't push her or help her through this, I don't want to do anything that prolongs the fantasy world she is living in. Right now she comes and goes as she pleases. I've been taking care of the kids and the house with minimum help from her. Even though she tells me that the reason she wants me to be away is so she can spend more time with the kids, she usually runs from them after a short period of time because she really can't handle them right now.

I'm starting to wonder if the only way she can look at herself is to really not be around. I can't do that when I'm in the house if she won't leave either.

[cyclone]

It's been a while since I posted here. Not much new going on. Still a lot of up and down. I'm trying really hard to detach myself from W. I've been finding this really hard the past few days.

We've been pretty friendly toward each other. She still leaves the house about half of the time to spend the night at her rented room or maybe with OM. I know she has been on olved in an EA but she hasn't admitted anything yet. I've been preparing myself for that day.

I am having a tough time keeping this up. I have been a lot of things to male myself a better person. Fixing the things that I don't like. It is really hard to keep going with only hints of baby steps. I catch myself wondering I'm just reading into things.

I'll be ok. Most of the time I have a PMA and keep myself occupied. Just hoping to see something to help keep me going.