Nice job handling all the things life has thrown at you in the last week.
I hope your D16 isn't in for a future full of menstrual trouble. I remember being in terrible pain during one of my first periods and my mom took me to the hospital, thinking it might be appendicitis. I felt so silly when it turned out to be 'just menstrual pains'. After that I cowgirled up and suffered thru the pain each month until it started putting me on my knees or making me nacious or I would black out from the intensity. Finally went back to the doctor 25+years later, lots of internal trouble, 2 surgeries later..... Things are different now, people talk about those ghastly things! I know you're a great mom and you'll be able to support your D16, it really can affect her mental health too.
About your H, expect nothing. Keep your house a home, but do it for you and the kids and let him watch thru the door that is slightly ajar. Keep moving forward....
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.