I have not read you whole sitch, so let me qualify my comments with that. I, too, have arrived at the "I'm done" stage. And, I am.
First, this:
Quote:
I acknowledge that I am not detached but it seems an elusive goal while I share a house with H. I just cannot help but get caught up in his comings and goings and I will work on that. I will teach myself how to control my reactions.
Keep working on this. And, make sure you understand what detachment is. It is NOT having no emotion. It IS going to the worst case scenario in your mind, really experiencing it, and knowing that you will make it through and be ok. If you are waiting to feel nothing for your H, it isn't coming soon, and, more importantly, it ISN'T detachment.
Next, this:
Quote:
I need for the next few months to maintain my sanity and I can think of no better way of doing that than by having his world turn upside down for a change. I need him to wonder whether East is North or West is South. I need his compass to spin constantly. I need to thrust him into a crisis of immense proportions. I need to be a MYSTERY to him. How do I do this?
Apart from being mysterious, YOU have no control over the other issues. These are HIS reactions to YOUR behavior, and POSSIBLE reactions at that.
How to do it, VH had some good ideas. I side with him on the no dating, but understand it may work for some - just not me.
Pick a night during the week when you go to a movie. When he asks where you were, tell him you were "out,." Be gone at unusual times. Do things you want to do, not things you think H would want you to do.
