I have not been posting much but have been following along with almost every sitch on the board, new and old.
Afew posts back Robx told me that I could potentially turn this sitch in its head. I would like to know in detail HOW.
I am at the point where I cannot see HOW my H and I would reconcile. It may or may not happen. However,regardless of the outcome, I realise that my H has zero respect for me and I share part of the blame for that . In trying to make my M work I somehow gave him the impression that I would take ...t and call it chocolate!!!! I did say to him that my door would always be open . Yes I did at the outset!!! Fatal mistake. I don't know if he thinks that this entitles him to do anything and I will not take steps I need to. I don't know if he thinks that because he has told me ILYBINILWY that he is entitled to live a separate life and come and go as he pleases while still M. It will not work for me.
I have spoken with my H several times and I have set my boundaries. I have received legal advice and I was advised not to pack his things and throw him out. I will therefore have to share a house with him until....
What I need help with is how to conduct myself and create confusion and uncertainty in his world. I am all too predictable. On the contrast he is the Master of Mystery. I need for the next few months to maintain my sanity and I can think of no better way of doing that than by having his world turn upside down for a change. I need him to wonder whether East is North or West is South. I need his compass to spin constantly. I need to thrust him into a crisis of immense proportions. I need to be a MYSTERY to him. How do I do this?
I acknowledge that I am not detached but it seems an elusive goal while I share a house with H. I just cannot help but get caught up in his comings and goings and I will work on that. I will teach myself how to control my reactions.
In the meantime,any practical advice on how to thrust my H out of the comfort zone which I lovingly built with my own two hands would be greatly appreciated.The time for talking is over with my H. The time for action is here.
What are the daily things that can make him sit up and (a) realise that I am no longer playing with him and (b) allow me to emerge with some of the respect that I allowed to erode for almost an entire year? I have not been a doormat but I have TALKED and at times cried more than I have ACTED. I want to ACT now.
