how to 180 when you've been too independent?

[TrentC]

I have every reason to believe that he is truly done. Perhaps a man of his word. There just isn't anything coming from him.

I am GAL, and using this board to keep my life and mind together, but not sure if there is really any DB'ing to be doing. Does that make sense? I know that until the A ends, he is truly done with our R, as pearlharbr said.

It's tricky, given the situation you're in; together for 23 years but never married (although as someone pointed out, you may be considered a common-law spouse in your state).

And as long as he is in the throes of an affair, there is very little you can do to try to rebuild your relationship.