I have posted here without much response.....My ex-wife and I have been divored since October of 08....We seperated in May of that year.....She started seeing OM just prior to telling me she was going through with divorce....I basically gave up and went along and started seeing people myself.....Actually met a great woman in Feb of this year and just ended that relationship....Could not be completely there for her as I still ahd feelings for my ex.....
Ex and I have two boys 13 and 17 and were married 19 years...We spilt custody of them and stay in contact frequently...We have also hung out at times and had a beer and even kissed a few times....She always backs off and says it can't go any further.....We will stay apart for a while and then hang out some more....We usually get along pretty well...
She is still with OM, although they have quit seeing each other several times...She says he smothers her and she really does not want to have to answer to anyone....I understand that as I feel the same way....It appears though that she can't seem to stay away from him for long, although they are not together nearly as much as they were....
Ok, here's the deal, this past weekend we went Christmas shopping for the boys.....As we were leaving the first store, she looked at me and said you passed the first test...She said that I had never been that patient while shopping with her...My reply was that I didn't know there would be a test, but first of all, I was enjoying being with her and secondly, she was no longer spending my money....We both laughed at that and went on about our business...
I had gotten tickets to see the Nutcracker that night, but we shopped way longer than we realized and we both decided to go get something to eat.....I asked her where she wanted to go, and to my surprise she wanted to go to a place that had been very special to us....i said that was great, but when we got there, it had gonne out of business....Big bummer but we carried on....
We went and had a nice dinner and a few drinks, at which time she reminded me that this was not a date.....Kind of a buzz killer, but i did not really respond.....we left and drove home...I was not real talkative and she asked what was wrong...I said nothing, but could sense she was trying to see if she could get me to start an argument....we ahve a history of going out and drinking and then an argument will start....Guess this was another part of the test...she also asked if i had spoken with my GF since the breakup....Just said we had spoken a couple of times since....I did not ask about her and OM and just let it drop.....
We got to her house and unloaded stufff and then sat on the couch and talked a little.....She got up and went and stood in front of the fire place....She looked more beautiful than i had seen her look in along time....I walked over to her and kissed her and said please don't say no tonight....We kissed again and then she said I don't want to have sex tonight....Said we ahd no idea when our oldest was going to come home....I backed off and handled it well for then....
Sure enough, my son and some of his friends soon came walking in the door, so i guess it is good nothing happened....She went to the back of the house and I followed her....We again kissed and i asked her what the real reason was that we could not have sex....She said that she felt as if that was all I wanted....I did not know what to say....I told her that was not the case, but things went downhill from there....We wound up in an argument and OM was brought up and I left....
Next day we spoke and she told me how upset she ahd gotten after I left....She said we probably did not need to speak right now except about boys...I agreed.....She said that she had spoken to her aunt that had been divorced from her husband and then they got back together...Said they had a long talk...I was glad to hear that....Ex also made it clear that what she does right now is none of my business....I agreed to this also....She said that she is praying for the right direction and that is where she will go....I have been doing the same...
I need some good advice on what to do....I know I made some major mistakes the other night...I beleive we are close to something, but she is not sure it could work....I played right into her hand by starting an argument....I wish I had just told her I had enjoyed the day and left before anything else happened....But I didn't and this is where I'm at now....Please help me....If there is a chance, i don't want to blow it again, but then again i don't want to be stuck in this rut forever.....Thanks in advance for the help....I will be away from the computer for awhile, but will check as soon as I can
