how to 180 when you've been too independent?

[avermont]

I feel like I am the only one here in this particular sitch. I know that can't be true; I'm thinking only of my own pain.

But I haven't found any other threads where the WAS just...completely...walked away. Said the words: I'm done. And seems to be just exactly that.

Only 2 things indicated any caring at all:

the first week after he told me about the A and being done, I left the house for a week. When we met up for a "check-in" he asked if he could ask where I had been.

Then when I first asked him to move out, and started to outline separating our insurances and such, he said: well, it's cheaper to keep the house and cars together...unless you're in a hurry to move this along...

That was 5 months ago.

The only non-house related contact initiated by him was mid-October, a little email story.

Our interactions around the house were mostly pleasant, aside from the bill-paying fight in October.

I guess he was doing the same "acting cool" as I was. As we were re-modeling the apartment bathroom together, you would have sworn everything was fine between us.

So...any words of advice? Everyone else's sitch seems to involve a lot of contact, either because of children, or household, or WAS making contact or being weird or something.

I have every reason to believe that he is truly done. Perhaps a man of his word. There just isn't anything coming from him.

I am GAL, and using this board to keep my life and mind together, but not sure if there is really any DB'ing to be doing. Does that make sense? I know that until the A ends, he is truly done with our R, as pearlharbr said.

But I feel like maybe truly done is truly done, and I need to do the same. DB and talk to this group in order to survive, but I can't interest and entice a man who...isn't interested.

A man finds a new woman; 8 months into it he isn't making any contact with LBS at all, except for bare minimum household tasks.

What's a girl to think?

Any history of sitches like this in the wise memory of the board?