Just spoke with my W on the phone. Again she was pleasant. Here is how it went:

M: Since most of the stuff in the basement is yours, I don't think it's fair for me to slave down there for hours dealing with all the waterlogged stuff. I think you should help clear it out.
W: Not now, no.
M: What do you mean not now?
W: I can't go in that house again. I can't handle it. You said we're separated and we're done, then we're separated, and we're done. I can't handle going back there. If you want to hire someone to go in and clear it out, I'll contribute to that.

She was calm, and even, and matter of fact in her statement. No anger, no attitude at all. Just a tinge of sadness.

M: (trying to sound cheery, like her stating that we're done is fine with me) I'm not looking forward to dealing with it. It's really bad. I didn't realize you were done getting all your stuff out of the basement.
W: I took what I'm going to take. The rest is garbage. Again, I'll help pay if you want to hire it out, but I can't go back there.

I left it at that. I didn't feel I had any reasonable avenue to push her on it. She offered to pay if I wanted to hire it out. What else could I say that wouldn't sound petty and immature?

What is going on with her? She is not responding how I'm expecting. So now she just gives up and throws in the towel?

Ok, again I'm weak. Again I'm worried I've pushed her away for good. Is she just so good at playing this game? Didn't sound like a game on the phone. She sounded sad, but accepting of the situation. How can SHE be the one who's heartbroken? This is crazy! Is she really putting this on me, that I'm the one who ended our M?

I want to call her back and say "W, don't put this on me. You're the one who had the A and moved out. You're the one who ended our M. I just refused to live in limbo any more. If you wanted to save our M, I made it clear I was open to it. I was looking forward to having fun with you, but you never once showed me in any way that's what you wanted. Just the opposite in fact. Offering that to you after what I've been through took enormous courage, and my offer was met with ambivalence and apathy."