Back in the US of A for 12 hours now. WAW came by to drop off the dog and all the assorted detritus of a week's child care. Gave her a coffee, we chatted a bit. It was awkward-lite -- not unmanageable, but clearly a bit of discomfort.
We agreed this was better than the Crazy Train. She apologized again for the Batsh*t-Crazy-a-Thon that produced the last 2 months of ire.
She emphasized her moving-on-ness -- sort of shoved it out there, though it didn't really fit in the main trends of the convo. I said, "Yes, I heard you say that, it's great, but back to the point...."
I did the confident DB'er, leadership bit -- so what are we going to do? What strategy(ies) do you want to consider for moving forward so we can be better for the kids? Do you want to go back to the couple counselor and sort of clear out all the crap from the last year, 10 years, entirety of the R? Do you just want to let things roll whichever way they do unguided?
You know, that sort of thing.
Didn't define any specific outcome. Just told her "food for thought." No need to make any decisions now -- she leaves on a Great Adventure with East Coast Girlfriend the day after Christmas anyway -- let's just survive the holiday as intact as possible for the sake of Themselves.
So that's about it for Oh-Nine. It's been (at least) a year of the Walkaway Process for her which, when I mentioned it, seemed to surprise her a bit -- but I'd come across the birthday card she gave me last year, and it was about as personal as a card you might give the mailman, so it's clear (in retrospect) that she was already checked-out at this time last year. It's been 10 months since D-Day, 6 since she moved out. I'm not doing too poorly, all things considered. I had a splendidly romantic time last week; I have some money coming in for '10; lost a couple of job opportunities in the normal interview-process attrition, but at least people are interested.
She seems to be okay -- she's got Mr. Someone cooking along; her Great Adventure is looming; she's had some significant professional and personal accomplishments.
The kids are trying to make their way -- they struggle, more so now than in the past, but they also rally themselves which is a good sign.
So whatever happens, happens. I just don't have the energy to be too concerned about it anymore. I learned a lot about myself thus far -- I can do everything WAW said I couldn't do; I can take a hit of this magnitude and keep moving forward; the world of romance, far from dying, is wide, wide open to me -- the ladies seem to like me, and superficial though it might be that recognition goes a long way to easing the pain. Not the best way to bring an end to a year, but it could certainly be worse.
