One thing really sticks out at me - The wine. I don't know why but that gesture seems really out of place when his sole purpose is to spend time with his son. I mean, it's kind of a romantic thing to sip wine with the opposite sex. An adult activity he is sharing with you that has nothing to do with his visit to his son. I hope that is not too overanalytical but it just really jumped out at me. However, maybe he drinks wine everyday/often and just wanted to relax there...Who knows.
About him seeing you close your laptop: Delete your history. If he was at all curious about what you were doing online, don't let him see what you are really up to. Would take all the mystery out of it plus you wouldn't want him telling OW and having her snoop on you here.
As far as his emotions towards you dating: Thats why I would seriously keep it as a suspicion not fact. If he does get pissed, I would take that as an extremely positive sign there is still something there for him. Do you have any real idea as to why he hasn't filed for D yet?
Lastly, and I have no idea if this is overstepping my boundaries here so if it is please just ignore it. But, I think 1 year old is way too young to do a 50/50 even split. I have an 18 month old and cannot fathom only seeing her 50% of the time. 1 year they are still just babies who need their mommy fulltime. I totally get that you want them to forge a bond after what you went through, but there is a massive gray area between what you experienced, and a suitable custody arrangement where the child is as least disrupted as possible while still maintaining a r'ship with dad. Personally, I can see 50/50 being possible at 4-5 years when they are old enough to understand/be told why their routine is shuffled. At 1, I would fear bouncing back and forth too much is just so hard on them since they are total creatures of routine/stability. Your H is making this decision, NOT you, NOT your baby. He should be the one making the sacrifices. Any 50/50 should keep the baby in YOUR home with him just increasing the visits to YOUR home w/ baby. Not baby going back and forth. Ok, off my soapbox and I REALLY hope I didn't offend you in anyway its just from my own perspective as a mom of two very young ones.
