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Originally Posted By: P17
She finishes at 5pm so I could drop it off after then if I didn't want to see her.

Are you nuts? Stop giving in to her demands. Your W is a spoiled brat who is used to everyone bending over backwards so she can get her way.


Gnosis, you took that wrong! That's what SHE said I could do. She said that IM could give me the stuff back so that I could drop it off for her at her work. There is no effing way I am dong this. It was the sheer b*lls that she even suggested it that got me.

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So get off your a$$ and go do something that will make you feel great. Sorry P17, I don't have patience for self-pity.


Me neither. It's been a tough week. Just feeling emotional today nothing more. A little less able to cope with the sh*t being thrown in my direction. I'm not moping, just quiet contemplation.

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Because she knows how to push your buttons and keep you dangling on a string. She knows you'll take her back. No matter what she does P17 is going to be around. So she's free to experiment, party it up and enjoy her cake while you sit around and mope.


But my question is HOW does she know this? I have no contact with her at all. I haven't spoken to her, texted her, emailed her or in any other way contacted her since I put NC into practice. She has tried to contact me 4 times since then. I have ignored every one.

So, my 180 is to do the EXACT opposite of what I did - chase, beg, plead. Don't do that anymore. So she may THINK she knows how to push my buttons, but she is getting no reaction.

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Its time to 180. Take the possibility of R off her agenda.


I'd like to do that for me. But how do I let her know that without breaking NC?

The only thing I have said to her about R is that in the NC letter I said that I only wanted contact for two reasons, to discuss reconciliation or to end it. The first one I couldn't do while she had invited a third person into the marriage and the other solicitors are best left to deal with.

Since then, no talk about anything.

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Brace yourself... Because she views you as a pathetic, weak human being whom she does not have an ounce of respect for.


You can do better than that Gnosis ... that one is kind of easy! smile

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I know you want to reconcile, but here's the hard facts. Let's say tomorrow her OM skips town... within a week she'll be knocking on your door because she knows you have no options available and will take her back. You welcome her back and reward her for her crap behavior... thereby giving her a license to walk out again whenever she feels like it.


That won't happen and wouldn't have for the last week or so. My heart and mind has changed on this. Not interested in taking back that woman.

I would discuss us restarting things if she showed signs of her old self, but in her mind that's probably the same as taking her back.

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I'm with RobX in situations like this. i.e. Become a hardass. Call her out on her crap. Kick her to the curb and if she comes crawling back make her work for it -- HARD.


Again, how without breaking NC.

Last edited by P17; 12/09/09 05:24 PM.

Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y
Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010

"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient."
"Delay is the antidote for anger"