how to 180 when you've been too independent?

[Ready2Change]

Hi ladies! I am glad to see you two supporting each other. It is always hard to see what to do in your own sitch, but so clear on what the other person should do. I would like to suggest that you put the other person "in your head". IE: When a sitch in your own life comes up, pause, and say what would my support people say?

I completely agree with Cutterbug and suggest you follow it.I reordered her thoughts, with more thoughts to consider. The ones I feel most important are first:

Do not drown your anxiety. Consider other methods to deal with anxiety. I found that most of my anxiety was based on FEAR and my THOUGHTS. By facing my fears, they loose control over me. By focusing on THE PRESENT and not the future, my anxiety disappears. Every time my thoughts go to MSR2C, my anxiety kicks in. WHEN I realize this, I think "STOP!!!!". Focus my attention on what is present and NOT HER. There are times and places to do this, but not when you are out in public, and NOT WHEN HE IS THERE.

Do not write back. Be prepared for "WORST CASE" IE Determine how you will behave IF she is there. Then everything else will be easy.


Dress nice. If at all possible, new stylish clothes. LOOK DIFFERENT THAN HE WOULD EXPECT.

BE the beautiful woman that you are. Take time to look YOUR BEST. New stylish hair. Good grooming is attractive. Take extra time with makeup, etc. NOT FOR HIM, BUT FOR YOU. Other men will be attracted to you also. ENJOY attention from them.

Get there early. LEAVE BEFORE HIM.

Sit with friends. Any male friends??

Stick with your girlfriend. It is good to have support around you.

PROJECT:You are a confident woman who cares about her community.

If you do see them: Be strong. Be still. Be calm. Be happy. Enjoy yourself. PROJECT: That you do not need him. You are perfectly happy without him.

Follow the "smile and wave" rules. Treat it business like.

Ignore the skunk. Do not look at him during the meeting. Ignore the skank. Put your attection where it belongs, on YOU and THE MEETING.

THIS IS GOOD TO HAVE READY:"Thanks for your concern. Our town needs support now so lets concentrate on what is important."