Handoff this morning went fine, but it was emotionally brutal on me. My W was still in bed when my daughter and I arrived, so she was sleepy and disheveled when she came to the door. I always thought my W looked beautiful when she got out of bed, and this morning was no exception.
She was very nice to me, so I guess the venom has stopped. I gave a few quick updates on the kids status, and I told her about the basement flood and all the stuff being ruined, much of which is her old books from years ago. She was sympathetic and in her calm soothing voice said "H, I'm so sorry, you must be so stressed out." She has that voice that is of course her main tool to use in her MC sessions. Even after all these years, I just don't get how underneath that warm soothing exterior there is such a manipulative selfish person.
Our older daughter made her a very nice picture with a caption saying what an great mommy she is, and how much she loves her mommy. It was sitting in my kitchen this morning, so I grabbed it and brought it to my W as well. She said thanks, but didn't really look at it. That was my attempt at a loving gesture.
Finally, my W told me she taking the kids out of town this weekend, I'm sure to a special Christmas place she and I have discussed bringing them for a couple years now. That hit my heart a bit as well. I'd been thinking of bringing the kids there myself, but hadn't made a plan yet. I know that if I hadn't sent that e-mail, she would have likely asked me to go along. Yes, that would just be a continuation of her cake eating, but part of me does really long to go with them. I keep thinking about what Gnosis asked "Are you really happy with what your W is giving you?" and my answer is still "No."
