Did he stop loving me?

[HalfMissing]

My ex was sending cards and emails even after he started his online affair. At first, he said he hadn't loved me for a year or so, then it became 2 years, then 5 years, then for the last 20 years. I even showed him the 20 yr anniversary card that said how he looked forward to our retirement when we would rock on the porch together, and he said he was just trying to convince himself that he loved me. It is all a bunch of BS that they all say. I don't think it is retricted to MLC but is just something that all cheating spouses do to get rid of the guilt.
It is sad that my ex even told the children that we were never happy and all that other garbage. They know better.
In a way, divorce is more painful than losing a spouse through death because they are rewriting history and we look back on all those happy memories with doubt. I kept many of those cards just to remind myself that it really was a happy marriage and that I really was loved all those years.