Coping with Bi-Polar WAW

[CountingCrows]

Thanks, PDT. It's been almost 3 hours since she sent the message, so I just took a minute and sent the following:

"Sorry, just saw this. Been a crazy day! Worked through lunch. Thanks for the nice note. Hope you are having a good day. - CC"

Bit of a white lie on working through lunch (although it was very brief...just ran home to let my dog out for a minute and came right back). I liked that extra part you suggested, Puppy, but didn't want to put it in this response. I think I'll hold on to that line in case something like this comes up in conversation.

I know there will come a day when I can make these types of decisions on my own, without running everything past the forum. I feel that I'm getting there, but for now, I'm very grateful to have others assisting me. Everything I should/should not be doing right now is completely out of character for me, and I know where that got me.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Perfect!!!

[Awoken]

I know there will come a day when I can make these types of decisions on my own, without running everything past the forum. I feel that I'm getting there, but for now, I'm very grateful to have others assisting me. Everything I should/should not be doing right now is completely out of character for me, and I know where that got me.

I'm glad you are asking these questions CC. I've been very decisive in the rest of my life until this sitch, and now I question every little choice. I think the Q and A here on your thread helps out many others (I know it's helping me). I honestly don't know how PDT has the time to respond to so many people.

Also, I'm so sorry to hear about Mr. Jones (and your Pomeranian).

[CountingCrows]

Thanks Awoken. I agree that reading other's questions and the responses/opinions/critiques are definitely helping me out. I realize how redundant many of the the questions are, as so many of our sitches are script cases...or at least have MANY similarities. I don't have enough free hours in the day to read all the threads, but I'm still trying to read as many as I can, as they often answer questions I didn't even know to ask yet.

It's the little nuances of each of our relationships that make them so difficult to deal with. Just like with my question this afternoon. If I had a full NC agreement with W, I wouldn't have even had to ask how to respond, but my less rigid "no first contact policy" that I'm working under required a slightly different tact.

Thanks for the condolences. W told S7 this morning about Mr. Jones, and he's getting ready to take some final pictures of him tonight. I've been discussing it with him. He seems more prepared for this than he for the death of our Pom, maybe because she was really sick for over 2 years. This time, we won't have a body to bury either, which seemed to add to S7's grief over this summer. He would often ask to walk with me out to the woods beside our subdivision, and see her grave.

Although I know that S7 needed to learn/understand more about life/death, I didn't like the way the graveside visits always got him dwelling on our eventual deaths and/or his own mortality. A 7yo doesn't need to be concentrating/worrying about things like that all the time. This is still a time for a certain amount of innocence...a lot of which he seems to be losing due to W's sudden and unexpected departure.

[Awoken]

"time for a certain amount of innocence"; yes I feel the same way, and it's the lost of innocence that is so heartbreaking for me.

My W had two small dogs when I met her, and both of our kids knew them since birth. They both past away 4 years ago, within a month of each other. My S13 (then 9) took it particularly hard, especially since the 2nd one apparently just gave up and died of grief. Both me and W were worried about him, but after grieving for quite a while, he came out much stronger.

We've now got two cats and two dogs.
I love them (they're family), but I have to mention that all four were bought during impulsive/manic phases of W. With the new dogs, she started dog training classes, but only completed half of them.

Again, my sympathies for mr. jones, and I hope you son doesn't take it too hard.

[CountingCrows]

Mr. Jones is now heading towards Rainbow Bridge. My wife was a total wreck and my son was obviously upset, but at least our poor sickly cat is no longer suffering. W was appreciative that I was taking care of things this morning, as she said there was no way that she could do it herself.

Read the Rainbow Bridge poem to S7 last night. Had a hard time getting it out without getting choked up. He was crying after I tucked him in and said goodnight. Went back into his room and talked to him so more and comforted him until he went to sleep.

Surprisingly, although it wasn't really "my" cat, the fact that W found him during much better times in our lives, it feels like another chapter of our R is now gone. It affected me emotionally a lot more than I realized it would.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I'm so sorry about your Mr. Jones, CC. We are animal lovers too, and had to put our beloved friend "Micki" down three Christmases ago. It was really rough on my boys, and interestingly, they are both much more attentive to the new cat we eventually got.

I love that "Rainbow Bridge" story. Although it's tough to get thru, it did give me comfort.

Puppy

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I also had a tough time getting thru "Marley and Me." My "Big Puppy" has a name that rhymes with "Marley," and he looks JUST like the dog in the movie. He's almost 13, has arthritis in his leg, and altho he's otherwise still very healthy and active, as we watched the movie my family all realized he wasn't going to be with us that much longer.

[CountingCrows]

Luckily, we adopted a kitten earlier this year that is "S7's cat". She's grown into a very healthy, affectionate cat. I'm sure that S7 will bond with her even more, now that Jones is gone.

I haven't even allowed myself or S7 to see Marley and Me, since I had heard from so many people how sad the ending was. I've got a 11yo Australian Cattle Dog (blue heeler) that is MY special dog. She's had hip problems since she was a puppy, and can barely get around these days. I know that there will be a time soon when I have to make a decision about her as well. Just praying that I'll be in a stronger place emotionally when that time comes.

I broke my informal NC rule this morning after I dropped Jones off at the vet and got to work. I sent W a text message saying "I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I know better than anyone in this world how much Mr. Jones meant to you."

She replied back with "Baby, it had to be done and as usual you stepped in and did what I couldn't bring myself to do. I thank you for having the strength. He's no longer in pain and miserable. He was one special cat. My sweet kitty."

O.K...enough of my blubbering. I've got lots of work to do today to keep me distracted, for which I'm very thankful.

[Puppy Dog Tails]