How long were you married? Each also married before with kids? And were you m AND div in 07? I'm reading the signature box and am confused...
And so you sep b/c of what? OW or OW#1 and then another OW? And a dui and an accident or what? How long have you known him, and what are the money issues? Education levels and professions? Does he say he has a drinking problem or a cheating problem or what?
Do you give him hope that he won't have to jump thru endless eternal hoops before you either stop punishing him or before you feel "safe enough" to let your guard down to fully love him? IF he wants to be fully loved and accepted, like most men, honestly, would he be better off starting fresh with someone new? THAT'S THE KEY QUESTION HE HAS IN HIS HEART AND HEAD, WHETHER HE KNOWS IT YET OR NOT...if you know the answer, either show him the door, or show him the love but back off the pursuing.
If that confuses you, then read a lot on Detachment. It is crucial. K4 does not do it, so don't go to his thread to see it. ((He doesn't get it. He thinks you either give up totally or you stay stuck and waiting and fasting and praying...but not growing or changing or getting professional help when 10 strangers tell you to do so, based on what YOU said to them...)) Avoid those paths...
Make your own. Please, you have a small child who needs a mother who isn't preoccupied all the time with thoughts of her xh and what might happen or what he might think/feel/say/do and how it all affects her...that is NOT fair to your d...
Make a life for the two of you and let him be the best part time dad he can be...for now. Yes and see what happens. Do YOU think he should be proposing m to you now? I don't! He has his crap to prove to you and You have to prove all the things we have said to you...no holding the sword of infidelity over his head eternally, and no snooping, no obsessing--OMG a huge one--no reading into everything he says or does...back off. Seriously...back off, GAL and move forward in YOUR LIFE.
He'll catch up to you if he is willing and able enough... That's the test.
Take a minute to imagine life without him in it, but with you being happy....savor that. What's going on? What can you to move in THAT direction?
j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
