Changing Man

[Gardener]

HELP NEEDED

Friends,
I need answer, advice, ideas for tomorrow's mediator session

I have maintained that since stbxw & I split expenses down the middle, when she left, she stuck me with an extra $1100 nut to cover every month (this in an economy where I lost 20% of clients & 25% income. I managed, though (with some help from credit card)

When I propose that proceeds from sale of house be split 50/50 PLUS I get my 50% and $1100 x12 ($13,200) from her 50%
a) She balks with her usual non-sensical , "I did NOT leave!" (excuse me, but didn't I move you and your crap to an apartment 5 miles away of your own volition?) Foggy, La-La Land.

b) She also says, "well, I had to come up with an extra $200/month on top of my $1,100 I was saving by leaving the house. To pay rent on my apartment. "Leave?I thought you said you didn't leave?!?

The mediator's a mush. And last time I pushed it, STBXW made reference to "you not wanting your relationship with StepD & StepS damaged in any way, would you?" Or words to that effect.

I'm of two minds: No, three.
1) You screwed me BIG TIME with monthly nut by leaving & I want it back. I struggled to keep up payments, keep house out of arrears and (God forbid) foreclosure and therefore kept the house viable and intact so there would be a house to sell and split proceeds.

And,
2) F%ck it. I got no more fight or energy left. Let's just split it 50/50, I'll take the hit so we can wrap this up and you can JUST GO AWAY!

3) tell her #1 is it. Period. and if she doesn't agree, I'll end the mediator sessions, tell her to go get a lawyer (I've already consulted with one, though not about this), And it is the principle, not the money because I'll spend $8-$10k on a lawyer just to get that $13000+.
AND I can apply for 1/2 of her 401k legally if she doesn't agree.

So, I don't want to get screwed. I don't want to duke it out, either. I really, really just want this to friggin' END already!

Thoughts?