WAW in affair. Help!

[Norm914]

I do agree that you should NOT talk to her until your head is in a better place than it sounds like it is today.

I also agree w/ this.

Norm, once again, you deserve an award for the fact that you have to deal with seeing them together in front of your face at your own gym!

Have you decided when you are going to call them out on it yet?

Thanks, Soliel.

I don’t know how I do it. I guess I just keep thinking, “If you want to bust this A and save your marriage you must control yourself.” And, in a bizarre sort of way, I feel a sense of control. They think they know something I don’t. But I know, and that gives me a sense of power. At times, I view them like two little kids who are playing hooky from school and think they are pulling something over on the teacher. At the same time, I am able to feel forgiveness (but not tolerance for the A) for them both. They’re human, and they’re doing what humans sometimes do, even if it is the wrong thing to do. They’re confused, although they don’t realize it.

They think they’re fulfilling a need, but affairs are almost always a dead end. They aren’t stopping to think, “Why am I really doing this? And where can it go, really?” They’re living in the moment. I think it’s sort of like what we do when we distract, just for a different reason. “I know deep down I can’t stay here in this place, but for the moment it feels good and alleviates my pain.”

Still thinking through what I will do next.